Lately, I have been secretly stressing out inside this head of mine. I am 25 years old, happily married to a great guy, have a great job, but something is still missing. It's a four letter word that makes some people cringe whenever they hear it, Baby. The funny thing is that 6 months ago if you would have asked if I wanted to have kids I would have responded with, "Not right now!".
I can't grasp juggling a house, work and a husband... and a baby. Women do it everyday, but Im not sure that I would be happy with that. Justin would like me to stay at home and raise our kids, which I am happy about, because my mother was home while we grew up also. It was nice having her there.
So, whats the problem? Well, technically no problem exists at the moment, however, with my growing career it will be a lot to give up. I have established myself quite well in under a year, so in two years worth of building a clientele, I would be doing great! I dont want to feel like I am letting my bosses down or that I mislead them by not telling them that I was planning a family. In fact, whenever I first started working there, I DIDNT want kids, that's how fast life changes.
I can always come back to doing hair, and I would like to have all my children by 30.
I get super-excited when I start thinking of being pregnant. Or when I think about decorating the baby's room, or finding out the sex of the baby. Better yet, taking them to Disney World for the first time and seeing their faces light up. All of these things are what my brain has been stuffed with these last couple of weeks.
People always told me that you "just know" when you want to have kids. I guess thats true after all.
July 31, 2008
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2 comments:
If you both are ready for it then start jumpin, jackrabbits:) I guess a counter would be to get with a large company, so that a pregnancy wouldn't affect your career. Things would definitely change for the relationship though. What I've experienced is trying to make a relationship work out by having a kid and a baby keeping the relationship alive long enough to see if things could work out.
thats crazy you talk about this because I'm not a baby person but tonight I may have changed my mind about having kids also! Crazy huh!
I think you would be a great mom, and I think its true; you really do just know.
Though I have changed my mind, I'm no where near ready. Nor, want to be right now, ya know? But I often wonder and imagin what it will someday be like.
Keep us posted on your thoughts!
xox
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