I want to have my cake and eat it too

Lately, I have been secretly stressing out inside this head of mine. I am 25 years old, happily married to a great guy, have a great job, but something is still missing. It's a four letter word that makes some people cringe whenever they hear it, Baby. The funny thing is that 6 months ago if you would have asked if I wanted to have kids I would have responded with, "Not right now!".

I can't grasp juggling a house, work and a husband... and a baby. Women do it everyday, but Im not sure that I would be happy with that. Justin would like me to stay at home and raise our kids, which I am happy about, because my mother was home while we grew up also. It was nice having her there.

So, whats the problem? Well, technically no problem exists at the moment, however, with my growing career it will be a lot to give up. I have established myself quite well in under a year, so in two years worth of building a clientele, I would be doing great! I dont want to feel like I am letting my bosses down or that I mislead them by not telling them that I was planning a family. In fact, whenever I first started working there, I DIDNT want kids, that's how fast life changes.
I can always come back to doing hair, and I would like to have all my children by 30.

I get super-excited when I start thinking of being pregnant. Or when I think about decorating the baby's room, or finding out the sex of the baby. Better yet, taking them to Disney World for the first time and seeing their faces light up. All of these things are what my brain has been stuffed with these last couple of weeks.

People always told me that you "just know" when you want to have kids. I guess thats true after all.

Beach girls...

Mom on the beach.
Originally uploaded by hairgeek

Are what me and my mom have become. I grew up on the beach, but now that I am older I really appreciate its relaxing and therapeutic qualities. Today we planted our matching chairs in the sand, setup our umbrella and then vegged out on all the snacks in our cooler.

Tommorow we are gonna take the surfboard out, singular because I am going to be the only one surfing. I have not surfed in a LONG time, so Im not expecting to do much more than fall and possibly get scraped up from shells on the bottom of the ocean.

I did get a chance to swim with the dolphins today, they were too far out to notice me, unfortunately. But they were there, and thats all that matters. :)

Yucky

Ever since I have stopped excercising I have felt gross. I made my way to the beach this week for the first time since summer started. The good thing about Florida are the beaches and the bad thing about Florida is finding something to wear to go to the beach.
I always put it off and just hope something will magically make it's way to my closet without any effort. It's so bad that the last time I did shop for a swimsuit, it was online and I ordered it without trying it on. If your a stick figure, this method works fine, but it doesn't for me.

I did notice that the people around me didn't look all that much better than myself though. Everyone just needs to lower their standards and we can all feel fabulous again! Anyways, I have to start exercising again for my health anyways so it will work out in the end.

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Vote and raise money!

Wow! Im going to the beach!
Originally uploaded by hairgeek

I was asked to enter my photo into the contest "Smile For Cancer Prevention" and so I did. If you have time to check it out, please do and vote for me too! I just took this picture three days ago when I was leaving for the beach.

Click the link below for amuso.

http://www.amuso.com//gameshows/trivia/SMILE-FOR-CANCER-PREVENTION-II

Day at the Beach

Bathroom is Finished!

Its pretty much complete!
Originally uploaded by hairgeek

...for the most part. :) Of course I will add things here and there but the walls and decor are mostly done now. It took me two full days to complete, but it sat there for a week until I could buy more supplies. I had threw my back out, so I had the energy today to get it done!

Im sure its WAY too girly for most people, and possibly my husband, but I LOVE it. The Rose painting was a gift from Justin on Valentines Day six years ago, so I made that the main focus of the room.

Visit my Flickr photostream for more pictures of all the goodies it has!

LifeCast on V.2.0 iPhone

Testing out the new applications on the latest version of my iPhone. So far I'm loving it!

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Sea World trip..

This past weekend me and Charity went down to Orlando to go back to Sea World. It was a blast, as usual. Crowded! But none the less... I would rather be in a crowded Sea World than sitting at home on the couch. Here is a picture I took of myself after feeding the dolphins.

More pictures up at flickr! Go check them out.

365 Fail..

I wish I could say that I could do it, but I am just not up to it. In my previous posts I talked about doing the 365 project, of posting a self portrait daily. Truthfully, I do not want to try and take a picture of myself everyday. My mornings are the only time I have, and trust me no pictures should be taken of me in my pajamas with messy hair and no makeup.
So, the 365 project is done. It was more like the 1/1 project. Which is okay... Its not for me.

My back is still in serious pain from when I threw it out yesterday. It happened yesterday morning when I was vacuuming and cleaning the house. Luckily, I got most of what I wanted to get done with done before it happened. Back pain is NO FUN. It makes you feel old, out of shape and like nothing can make it better.

Getting out of work tommorow is not an option, so I will try and make the best of it. Possibly get a massage in the morning if it will help. Wish me luck.

So long, farewell...

I am headed to Orlando, yet again. I wish I owned real estate there, because it sure would save us some money on hotel room costs. Charity(my bestfriend since 2nd grade) and I are headed to Sea World for 2 days.
I am mostly excited about trying to get some really good pictures more than anything. Of course I am excited to get a chance to catch up with Char too. We both recently had our grandfathers in the hospital, at the same time. We have a pretty strong bond that can never be broken, we have grown up together, watched each other change and found our way back to each other.
Cant wait to bring back lots of good pictures!

Day 1 [of 365]

I have been inspired to start a new photo project. You take a self-portrait everyday for a year, or however long you wish. I am going to try and branch out with them and not do the typical "Cheese!" picture, but I tend to take a lot of those, so no promises.

Mine will consist of either myself or something closely related to myself, not me just sitting there in front of the camera everyday for a year, that doesnt sound like fun.

Things I cannot easily accept...

• That my grandparents are in their 80's when I feel like they should still be in their 60's.


• I will never look like I did when I was 18 years old, no matter what. And I never get mistaken as a teenager anymore.


• This "Your ears and nose never stop growing" thing. Thats just un-acceptable.

On a lighter note, my new camera rocks. Im getting inspired by small things that I may have overlooked before. Such as... this angel who wanted her picture taken.

Happy face :)

I just ordered my Canon Powershot S5 iS and will be picking it up at the store in the morning! So, most likely this will be turning into a photo blog rather than a ramble-on-about-a-bunch-of-crap blog.
This weekend is going to be FUN with my new camera. There are so many cool places I visit on a regular basis, but havent had a camera to really capture anything worthwhile. Yay for new cameras!

Financing Happiness

Today I met with a cosmetic surgeon to discuss options and pricing regarding a breast reduction. I went in knowing and preparing myself for the outrageous costs associated with major surgery. I was not nervous at all, this is something I have wanted since I was 18 years old. My mind is made up and I know what I need to do, and that for my well-being this is what needs to be done.

I changed into the piece of 1 ply tissue paper they gave me and waited anxiously to tell him everything I had been feeling, like it was an interview or something. He comes in the room, discusses my concerns, and marks on my body what things will be done. If you have ever seen Nip/Tuck... you know what I am talking about. It really puts into your head just how "imperfect" you are since these are the people who make everyone look "perfect" and see all kinds of different people.

I got excited when he started telling me what I would look like, and how I would be more proportionate with the rest of my body. After the consult, you visit the Practice manager who sets up the appointment and collects your money and soul. Again, I had prepared for the worst but hoped for the best. Unfortunately, it was much more than I expected.

The cost of my happiness would come at about $12,000.00. For some people, thats a car, or a really sweet vacation. For me, thats being comfortable in my own skin. I would give anything to not have to have surgery, but in the end... I know its the only option to get the results I want. Dieting has helped my body so much, but there is only so much you can do when you have this problem.

If anyone wins the lottery... adopt me?

Tick tock! tick tock!

My "vacation" was very nice, however I dont feel as though I got enough rest. The day after we got back home, I headed back to work. Our salon had our BUSIEST week ever. Go figure. I was running on an empty tank of gas. So, this weekend is going to be full of nothing, just how I want it to be.

I am planning two trips for the fall though, so I still feel like I am going 100 MPH inside my brain. First comes either North Carolina, then Disney again, or else it will just be two Disney trips. It really depends on where my grandparents would like to go. We are taking them on vacation this year, and my parents are going as well.

I have to slow down soon.

OMG Moment

I was looking back at some pictures to see how far I have come with my weightloss. I found one horrifying picture that really showed me how far Ive come and why I was so fat in the first place. Eating junk, fastfood, not exercising and not drinking water can get you as fat as you'd like to be! That I know for a fact, haha!

Right now I have 28 pounds to go, which will be about another 6 months, the healthy way. I have easily kept everything off, just by not drinking soda and watching what I eat. Very basic and obvious changes for the most part. My next challenge: An after picture in a bikini! Woohoo. LOL. 6 months!

Happy Memorial Day!

I hope everyone had a good day off from work. I spent my day hanging out with some really cute chicks. You know how an animal can be so darn cute you just want to squeeze it? Well these little girls definetely were. They bought four little sister chicks.
My niece decided to name them- Diamond, Black, Jasmine and Im not sure about the other. Since they all ended up sounding like stripper names, they will end up getting changed eventually.







To further feed my fascination with animals, today we just purchased the SeaWorld annual passes which we will be using June 1st-June 3rd. I am so ready to go, its one of my many favorite places to visit. Hopefully I can get some good pictures too.. :)

Week 6: Update

Just thought I would give an update on my weight loss so far. I have lost 7 pounds as of April 22. I am still pretty much on track, but things have been getting harder, as they always do. The thing that has kept me on track the most is making sure I have plenty of healthy foods in the pantry and fridge. Eating mostly fruits, WW meals, WW snacks and weighing in at Weight Watchers is helping me a lot.
My clothes are becoming grossly too big for me, they look like Im wearing baggy, sloppy clothes. So, soon I will be headed to the store to buy some smaller sizes. :) Hooray!

This weekend we had a luau in our backyard. It was so much fun, were going to plan another party for the 4th of July. We are about to start some more projects for our backyard, the biggest thing being making a patio with pavers.
I have also been really busy getting the flower beds and landscaping back in shape from winter. New mulch and flowers can go a long way, and its good exercise for me. I will post some pictures tommorow if I have time.

Speaking of cameras...I need a new one soon! I want to get atleast an 8 MP digital camera. I have been looking at Canon and Nikon. Hopefully I can get it before our Disney trip, because I want to take some crisp pictures. Any suggestions for a good camera at a decent price?

The Obsession Started Long Ago...

My first visit to Disney World's Magic Kingdom was when I was 3 weeks old. My parent's didn't waste anytime did they? It is one of my all time favorite places to go and bring's back warm, fuzzy memories, which is why I am still so fond of it.

(Thats me on the far right, standing next to my brother, Ryan)

There is literally no other place like it, it sounds like I should work for Disney World. I sat in on one of their Vacation Club seminars and learned that Disney is the #1 tourist destination in the world. I know its a huge deal to most kids and families, but I didnt know it was THE place to go.

I will admit that I am totally obsessed with this place. My heart starts racing when I think about returning in the fall, its so exciting and makes me want to do my happy dance (You'd probably not want to see that). I guess I am still a kid at heart. <3

Alive & Well

This is the longest absence I have had from my blog in a long time. I have come here to post, typed a few words, then delete it and go about my business because I have been so busy. Its that time of the year when things are being planned, birthday parties on the weekends, and family BBQ's are happening all the time.
I am still sticking to my plan, and losing weight. People are starting to notice, and that inspires me even more. I've planned a surprise trip for my hubby, so that also makes me want to get into shape before November too!
Mother's Day was spent at my granny's house with all of my family. We must have gotten really bored, because we let my niece talk us into making paper airplanes. I think we ended up with about 25 construction paper airplanes in the living room. After that we moved to the outside patio so my nieces could play on the slip'n slide. That takes me back! I might try to do the slip'n slide this summer...watch out kids!